Erik was the only child of our youngest daughter, and he died in a senseless car crash at the age of 16. The driver of that car did not receive a scratch, but Erik was instantly crushed to death. Our only consolation was that he never suffered.
I know that when these things happen, people always say "he was a wonderful kid". Well, let me tell you with no reservations, that he really was. He loved music, building things, and being nice to everyone he came in contact with. He had been hired for the coming summer by the vocational school to help build homes because he was so good at it. He was an "adopted" grandson to every person on his paper route, and they all had a funny story to tell about him. He loved playing his trumpet in the Marching and Pep band, and never missed a practice. You can see where this is going!!!
When he died, the local and city newspapers all did stories about him and they were all titled The Band Played On. The high school band played all his favorite songs at the funeral, and his trumpet sat on his empty chair.
Erik had this thing about dragonflies, so of course our daughter received all sorts of them in his memory. I in turn, wanted to do something for him that would not end up tucked away in a drawer and forgotten. For a year, I kept trying to come up with something but nothing clicked until I saw his friends laying flowers at the crash site on the first anniversary. I loved daylilies and what if I could get one named after him that would be around forever.
The person that jumped to mind was Pat Stamile because his were my favorites, but how do you approach such a person. For a week, I tossed it over and over in my mind feeling sure that I was a foolish person to think he would do such a thing. I finally sent an email to him telling Erik's story, my hands shaking so badly I could hardly type, knowing that I would never get a reply. Three hours later, the reply came through. He and his wife had a son, killed in a car accident at sixteen. He would be honored to name a flower after my Erik. Mr. Stamile is known for the bands of color in his flowers, so there was no question that Eriks flower would be called The Band Played On as it will for many years to come.
