Hi All,
My wonderful gallant Steve died day before yesterday at the Hospice House with the Big Bend Hospice in Tallahassee, FL. His poor beat up body just couldn't cope anymore. We had lots of family and friends in on Tuesday and family on Wednesday. A music therapist came in and played some of his favorite music and took requests as well. One of the songs she sang was "That's Amore" with the traditional lyrics but I sang the parody along with her that Steve laughed at so often:
"See that thing on the reef with the big shiny teeth, that's a moray,
Put your hand in a crack and you won't get it back from a moray.
He can swim, he can glide but he'd rather hide in the coral...."
We heard that in a record shop in Cancun, bought the CD and he played it all the time.
Steve couldn't respond except by touch and really responded with a big squeeze of his hand that he loved that. I slept in his room and had gotten up early that morning, held his hand, talked to him and sang his favorite song from way back in the 70s by the Rotary Connection:
"Want you to know you made me happy,
Want you to know you made me sad,
Want you to know you made me happy.
You are the best thing that I ever had."
It starts off with 1 voice, acapella, and each time through we pick up another voice so at the end there is a full chorus of that verse.
One of his nurses overheard me and told me that I was an inspiration to her - her husband is also in Hospice. While he was only there for 46 hours, his room was filled with people that loved him - both family and friends, coworkers too. The CEO, the founder and a VP from his company all came and spent an hour, holding his hand and letting him know they loved him. Then came some of our friends from long ago, family, and more people from work. They all stayed until midnight, swapping tall tales of Steve and all taking their turns holding his hand and telling he is loved. His oncologist came in at 6:30 in the morning and talked to me and Steve about how remarkable he was - Doc said he had never had a patient at that stage of colon cancer when discovered live as long and that was by years. He nearly made it 10 years, far longer than we expected we would have. We just had our 44th anniversary and had been together for 48 1/2 years.
My heart is broken but I am so relieved that he is no longer in such devastating pain. I went to his company yesterday to return his work computer and keys and wound up not leaving for several hours. Fully 25% of the workers came out to talk and tell me how wonderful Steve was. His HR person said that Steve, more than anyone he'd ever known, had a divine spark, filled with kindness, never complaining, always giving his best to everyone. The CEO said if I had the memorial on a weekday, she would close the company because everyone wanted to be there and wanted to invite everyone from the memorial back to the company for lunch. All of this has been so dear. Pray for me - I'm going to miss him so.
His Bengal kitty, Valentine Needletoes, just came in looking for him. I think she knows he's gone. Usually if I take him away, she sits in his chair and glares at me as if to say, "You took him away, now bring him back." This time she just came up to me and meowed softly and gently put her head in my hands. I told her we would all be together again one day.
I was so fortunate to have him in my life so I'm hoping for reincarnation so we can do it again.
Barb
Steve letting me get a decent photo of him.
Steve being a goofball.
