I goofed and didn't look at the underleaf when purchasing this cutie, which has something weird going on. Please help. Do I need to be the person I hate being and return her (bought 4/14/24), or can I save her? I am keeping her outside so she doesn't get my other plants sick, but initially had her next to a peace lilly and various propagations. Do I need to keep an eye on those now?

Hi and to the site!

Your Mini Monstera (Rhaphidophora tetrasperma) (which is also sold as Philodendron Ginny and Philodendron Piccolo) looks okay to me but hopefully one of our more knowledgeable Aroid growers like @Gina1960 will take a look at your photos and be able to offer advice.

That is called EDEMA. It happens when the plant is overwatered, and takes up too much water too fast, and the cells in the leaves get waterlogged and burst.
Let it dry out some. Look at the potting soil. If it's too heavy, repot it into a better draining mix. Then be careful not to overwater.

I can tell just from the photos that you posted that this is potted in something that is not well draining and will hold way too much water. You want a lighter airy mix with lots of perlite, some fir bark, maybe a few aliflor (LECA) ball mixed in....