Elaine, I agree that it's a great idea for a doctor to give input to his/her patient about aging and reflexes when it comes to driving a motor vehicle. It's probably much easier to have that conversation from someone of authority rather than your children.

Many folks don't like the thought of having the conversation with their elderly parents about discontinuing the operation of a motor vehicle. For many in their later years, giving up driving is like totally losing their independence and it's understandable that they would be reluctant to give up that privilege. I remember a friends elderly mother years ago who was having a few too many fender benders and in her mind it was always the other driver at fault. Her kids just didn't seem to know how to tell her that she needed to give up her license and it was suggested that they call her doctors office and ask him to broach the subject at her next appointment.

I'll be 67 years old in March and we have no children but I quit driving on the interstate many years ago. I'm just too nervous of a driver with traffic at 70+ mph; I'd be the first to admit that I could easily cause an accident and I'd never forgive myself if I were to be the cause of injury or death to someone when it could have been prevented. Whenever my husband and I are out and about together (around town or on trips) he does all the driving. He's the type who would rather be in control anyway and doesn't like being a passenger, which suits me just fine. When the time comes for me to give up my license it will be very easy!

That's so great, Lin. I hope it's easy for me too, but I am like your husband. I love to drive, and my husband was always on the phone or thinking about something else when we drive together, so for now the policy is that I drive when we go out. He gets so distracted, he drives right by our destination if I don't remind him.

Our daughter-in-law 's grandpa is well into his 80's and insists upon still driving. He's had a lot of fender benders, and - get this! - he failed the eye test the last time he renewed his license, but got his own doctor to re-test his eyes and write a letter certifying his eyesight as passable! DIL says they are "old buddies" and it's not just his eyesight, he is just plain inattentive, slow to react, a danger to himself and others. But nobody in her family is willing to confront him. They have all forbidden any of their kids from riding in the car with him, but still! I think if he is in an accident that injures or kills someone else, both he and the family members should be held responsible. Not to mention his 'buddy' the doctor.

People really should do what they know is right, even if it is hard.

Oh.. now I have to scramble to figure out an order.

You guys have no idea how much I needed this. I know I'm doing the right thing but that doesn't make it easier. I'm 99.9% sure I have my Mom convinced that she can't drive anymore. She knows it..
She can see fine, she just doesn't pay attention!!! She's had some major orthopedic problems the last couple of years and now she's wearing a fentenal(sp) patch for pain management. She's not stoned or high but she's under the influence as far as the law goes.
I do have three sisters although it's more like 1 1/2 when it comes time to helping out. I am so sick of the drama that my sisters produce, well 2 of them anyway.
Just reading the stories helped me A LOT!!!!!!!!! Thanks Lin!!!

biLL

I'm sure the instructions on those patches will say 'do not drive or operate heavy machinery'. Her doctor will be able to confirm this.

Bill,

You are very welcome. I know what you must be going through; it can be very difficult when the subject must be broached regarding the safety and security of an aging parent and it can be very trying when one or more of the siblings are in denial about the issues. It totally helps if everyone can be on the same page so that the parent is getting the same feedback from each child ... or she will more than likely agree with the one whose feelings are mostly related to hers. You could try asking your mom how she'd feel if she was the cause of even a minor accident but many times an aging driver is sure they are a safe driver and it will never happen to them.

Fentanyl is a heavy duty narcotic and I'm sure dosages vary from person to person and in your moms case her doctor has prescribed a dosage that he/she thinks is safe for her but maybe you or one of your sisters should call the doctors office and ask about the driving issue while using the patch and at the same time, broach the subject of whether the doctor would be willing to have a chat with you mom about giving up her driving privileges.

Hang in there and just know that we have empathy for what you and your siblings are going through.

Lin

You guys are awesome!!!!!

Bill, we disabled my Mom's car and then told her one of the son-in-laws would be over to fix it sometime. By that time she wasn't driving too much anyhow and seemed OK with people driving her. She was always kind of a homebody and wasn't one to go out much except to the grocery and church.
We also talked to the doctor (before my mom visited him) and he told her in no uncertain terms she was not to drive. If you can get her doctor to do the dirty work you kids can just shrug and look innocent and say, "well, the doctor says....."

My dog had a Fentanyl patch after some surgery and I was warned not to touch it when removing it, so it must be a heavy duty drug, she shouldn't be driving.

It's actually been easier than I thought. My sisters have been stepping up and helping out a lot more.
I can only imagine what the thought of losing your independence is like.
You have NO idea how much I appreciate you guys!!!

My website is going to look different REAL SOON!! Like hopefully in the next few hours. We might have to shut it down briefly periodically if we encounter any bugs.
Dave is ABSOLUTELY the MAN!!!! I gotta go back to work....

Can't wait to see the new look of your website ... I'll be watching!

Hey Guys and Gals,

The new version of my website is up and running. Dave and I are still working on it in the background though but it is functional.
The Home Page will be changing quite a bit. I want to remove a lot of the verbage and tweak things here and there.
Let me know what you guys think!! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!!!


biLL

http://www.caladiumbulbs4less....

Looks good Bill biLL!!

Beautiful site! Looks great on my phone, too. Your webmaster sure is competent!

arm over shoulder...pat, pat, pat

Nice clear site. You could place some 'specials' or great pictures along the sides....

Thanks Evan!!
My webmaster is absolutely the Master!!
I'm the student that'll never be able to snatch that pebble....lol..

biLL

Love the new website! Don't remove all the verbaige. Some of us might want to order it too.

I'm loving it. It's up and running and it's functional...
I'm still learning the admin panel and as I do I'll be tweaking things here and there.

I like the way it's laid out with the different quantities available by clicking on the radio button.
Dave is absolutely unbelievable!!! I can't wait to start posting pics in to the photo gallery. I have some awesome pics from a bunch of you guys and gals...
This is exciting. My stomach was in knots worrying about the new launch.... Glad that's over...lol...

Who's gonna win the Super Bowl?