The lack of an "Add to cart" button is a powerful clue that we're not selling things here.

I think some people google a plant they saw somewhere and it takes them here. Then they think they can buy it or whatever. If they are new, they may really not get that this isn't a place to buy plants. You have to keep in mind too that some people are not the brightest bulb in the box and don't catch on too quickly.

Pirl, just click 'delete' --- then go make tea! I just pretend like it didn't happen. I have had some requests, but usually the other person offers me something to trade or whatever. I have not really had a problem with it, it's not excessive -at least for me. Strange how some people get bothered more than others. Maybe those with more posts or photos added to the database have more of a chance of showing up on a google search and therefore get contacted more often.

I get that, Dave, but people, like Frillylilly says, may have been directed here from elsewhere and have no idea what kind of site this is. Maybe 'All Things Plants' could have a sub-header that says ' a Plant forum' or 'plant community'. Please note I don't have a problem with it, just trying to relieve what is clearly a sticky issue for some people.

It may be that some uncommon plants entered in the database may lead to inquiries? I just put a photo of I. pseudata 'Shirabyoshi' in the DB and there it says only one member has this plant - pirl! If someone were really wanting that plant and hadn't found a source, I think they might contact a member about getting it. I have it, but it's not listed on my list as something I have. The info to contact me is on the photo I posted, but not on the general DB entry. I know I've wanted to contact members about a source for a plant, but have only done that once because it seems too much like asking them to be that source. I found it uncomfortable to do it, though I got helpful information on possibilities for obtaining what I was looking for. I think in the future I'd be more likely to ask about sources on a forum rather than an individual member.

I don't mind being asked for sources, although often it's just a Google search away. I do think it's often as previously mentioned, some are not that internet savvy and those are the kind of people that won't even do any additional looking around here to see what this site is all about. Posting any additional info in the plant header will most often get ignored. You won't believe how many people ignore the additional instructions for posting within the database entry.

As Dave said, there is no "add to cart" and there are also no prices. Isn't that enough of a clue? Still, they persist and one even gave me a list of what she wanted and the order she wanted them. I'm sure Sue is right - they won't even bother with Google = lazy or maybe uninformed.

Another option is to simply direct people to the Plant and Seed Trading forum or the Classifieds.

Good one!

My feeling is that I'll tell them I'm reporting them, not that it will make any difference to them!

Frillylily said:I think some people google a plant they saw somewhere and it takes them here. Then they think they can buy it or whatever. If they are new, they may really not get that this isn't a place to buy plants. You have to keep in mind too that some people are not the brightest bulb in the box and don't catch on too quickly.

I get that quite a bit on my own personal garden website. People get to one of my plant profiles from a web search and assume it's a sale page. Probably a good third of all comments left on my pages are people asking to purchase the plant (I delete those).

I just saw a query on the day lily forum for a cultivar that is very new, and the price tag was $100.

Maybe people who are hard to deter could be offered a plant at an improbable price. That might make them give up on getting a freebie without trading for it.

"I almost never offer these plants for sale because I have to charge so much for them".

And if one of them does take you up on it, a three-digit price might be worth your time.

Or, "It's a registered, protected cultivar and asexual propagation is prohibited".

Or Rob, as an alternative you could tell them it was one of many plants you kill since you are "Ever looking for new plants to kill"

If someone messages me about buying plants, I would be happy to sell them plants.
If I have plenty of something and they wanted it, I would sell it to them for a reasonable price.
I have had some ask to make an unreasonable trade...

I have a note on the top of my plant list that says, just ask if you are interested in anything.
If someone does not want to be contacted for someone who is interested in their plants, just leave a note at the top saying nothing is for sale or trade...

Most people don't come in looking at the top of your trade list, they contact you through an image in the entry.

@pirl I wanted to scream in dismay that someone would give you a list and then dictate what order to send the plants. My genteel southern womanliness says that ah must be mistakin' what ah I am seein' from that brazen hussy. The gall and the nerve!
When I was making my way around ATP as a new member I would see the don't ask if it's not offered postings. I enjoy trading so I was a little surprised but not very much. I felt this is really a reasonable request as being a part of the group here. I'm sorry you've been badgered Arlene, you must have some el primo plants.
Now to the guy on ATP that has the Tai Monarch hedychium, pleeeaassssseeeee.

Kabby - a former, long time friend, wanted hostas from me and then told me to bag them up according to color. I was doing the digging and bagging to drive them nine hours to her house and then she thought "we" could plant them. Luckily I was dressed to go out to dinner so I escaped without digging. People aren't very shy about their wishes so it's clearly up to us to be the enforcers.

Now I'll have to search out the Tai Monarch hedychium!

Sure looks like a desirable plant. Hope you can find one! And it should grow in your zone, too. Wow!

Pretty!

http://www.plantdelights.com/H...

It's not so much what the Tai Monarch looks like, it is pretty close to the ordinary white coronarium. It's the fragrance of a honeysuckle as opposed to a gardenia scent of the other hedychiums.
Arlene your story gets worse each time you add something to it. I hope it didn't hurt you to make her a former friend. She certainly has a brass pair of you know.

I hope you do get that plant and hope it's all you want it to be.

Most people and most traders are good people and send great packages but then there are some who make the good traders look gold plated! As for the friend - some people only pass through our lives and she was one of them. Three of my dearest friends have no interest in gardening. Sometimes that is a blessing.

I've been holding off on this thread, in hopes someone else may express a similar point of view.
I've been taught that just because an idea is unpopular, doesn't make it wrong!

Before I express that point of view, I'd like to say that it is indeed sad to see a member driven to this point, and it does seem justified that she be upset, no one deserves to be hounded and, yes... Some folks just don't get it... Trying to place orders and failing to compute when you tell them this isn't a sales site... Is pretty silly... But we've all been to a plant based site and wondered " now where do I place my order!?!" And some of those site are sales sites!
There's also just no excuse for rude, self entitled behavior, " I want this when I want it" but it's the internet, and a free site at that! That inherently attracts riff-raff... It's a well known factor in the online gaming world.
THIS should be a place that we each enjoy coming to visit!
Personally I do enjoy it, very much, and haven't had one problem, I hope I haven't been a serious contributing factor to others problems here.

That said, I joined this board (and others but I only visit this one now) with one goal in mind... Get more plants!
I do in fact approach members about plants they list, possibly even plants they don't list as available, I'm not sure...
I try my best to be respectful and appreciative, regardless the outcome, thus far the outcomes been great!
I love trading plants!
I love it when others approach me about my plants, regardless of what status they're listed under!
I also know I'm a solid trader, not someone looking for "free plants", but I'm sure not paying cash money for them!
This years proving I an a solid trader!
I have almost nothing to send out!
Yet I'm waiting on 3 packages containing more plants than ever before! (I have less than ever before so I'm in need of a lot) and next weekend im driving a few hours and staying the night for an in person free-for-all where I'll be digging whatever I like!
It pays to be a generous trader!

There's some pretty big differences in pirl's page and my own, no doubt of that, I'm sure folks that list 700+ plants, of which many must be rare and desirable, receive more attention than folks like myself...
The plants I like are less popular, not many folks work with them, hyridizing new plants, selecting special clones or discovering new species! But the ones that are into aroids are usually nuts for them!
I'm usually quite excited to speak to someone with a common interest in these plants, a few such people attracted me here!
Plants have actually lead me to some of the most meaningful friendships I have today, that's no joke, every close friend I have, aside from my wife and 1 high school friend have come from plants (long stories there!).
So when I first saw this thread, it ruffled my feathers, but it had no responses... Now there's no shortage of responses now, but they all lean one way.
I feel I should speak up for the those good traders, some of them are new members! We were all new members once! Were you less trustworthy then?
I'm not saying any one posting above me is wrong, we're all entitled to feel the way we like, but I don't share the same views, sorry if that's upsetting to anyone.
It think it would be a shame for more members here to mark their lists private, or ignore legitimate exchange offers.
Treat rude people the way they the deserve to be treated, but I think a response is always in order... Kill em with kindness!
Everyone here wants to either grow plants, grow better plants, talk about plants and learn about plants and it hard to do that with getting more plants.
We are a great resource to one another!
I hate to see that spoiled for all of us, regardless of the reason!

Thank you for reading.