I used to think stuff like this wasn't funny!
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later:
I don't have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don't have a curfew.
I have a driver's license and my own car.
The girls I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne.
Life is great.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small holiday.
The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm very wise indeed.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We're going to get together one of these days.
Why do I have to press one for English when I'm just going to be transferred to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course, I talk to myself. I sometimes need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went there for.
I have more friends that I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.
Now, I'm wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
