Good morning all,
Some great grins and chuckles here as always. Great way to start the day.
My turn to share some humor.
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what is in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home,
see what's in bed and go to the fridge!
Our snow birds are back and many are Canadian. A friend of mine who resides here p.t. sent me some funnies.... These are actual quotes from people who have had car accidents and had to try to summarize exactly what happened in a few words on the insurance and/or accident forms. These quotes were taken from the forms and published in "The Toronto" .
While accidents are never funny or a laughing matter, people's efforts to summarize, justify or explain them is hysterical! Here's some of the funniest.........
---"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
---"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions."
---"I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it."
---"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
---"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face."
---"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
---"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
---"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment. "
---"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
---"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car."
---"I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
---"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."
---"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."
---"I was thrown from my car as I left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
---"The pedestrian had no idea what direction to go, so I ran over him."
---"I saw the slow moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off my car."
---"I was sure the pedestrian had no idea what direction to go, so I ran over him."
---"I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him."
---"I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat I found that I had a skull fracture."
---"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished."
---"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I struck the pedestrian instead."
---"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
And my personal favorites................
---"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
---"I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident."
Hope all got a good chuckle. Enjoy the day.
AG
