Name: Anne Summerville, SC (Zone 8a) Only dead fish go with the flow!
You don't want to pat them on the head, just gently brush them from side so the stems flex. What this does is flex the cell walls in the stems causing them to get thicker and stronger.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
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