Okay, I am not shy of admitting it…I’m bored. BoredBoredBORED! Starting any intricate task is off the books with a toddler, even when he is napping. I just get good and into a rhythm and he wakes up. Can’t leave craft projects around because he can now get to almost anything. The computer is in the bedroom, and he won’t go to sleep if I am in the room with him, unless I am laying down for a nap, too. Too hot to spend much time outside even if he is asleep because I’d be too sapped when I got back in to take care of him safely. Don’t get to the library because of sister’s schedule. Whine, whine, whiiiiine!!!!!
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Many New Day. Sister’s mindset with regard to these kids just infuriates the heck out of me. No matter how crippling it is to the kid’s development, she ALWAYS lets their behavior slide and bails them out with money and transportation. How many generations is she planning to carry on her hip? Never, ever will they be able to grow up if they always have her as a fall back.
I am amazed and humbled by the generosity of garden folk. Two of them sent money before the SSD kicked in so I could get mulch and garden supplies. I beese happy, happy.
Shorty and boyfriend seem to still be cooling down. Thankfully! I guess he is nice enough, but to be 28 years old, no car, no place of his own, no stable job history (works fast food right now for $8/hr), and still married to what I have been told is some psycho spells to me the kind of guy that won’t and can’t take care of the kid that I am POSITIVE is coming soon. Shorty may even be pregnant now and doesn’t want to say anything because of all the STRONG reminders made to use condoms and such. She was on birth control pills, but would forget to take them regularly and thought all she had to do was take one when she remembered it to have full protection…sigh…Have I said that I hate teenagers? Bought her a paint sample to try the color she wants before we go all out. She won’t clean up the space enough to even get that sample on the wall. Okee dokee, Shorty, pig sty for you it is, then.
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Day after Many New Day. Entertaining watching boy-child entertain himself for 15 minutes shredding up one fast-food restaurant paper napkin. Awwww. His two canines have broken through. That makes FOUR whole teeth, now! He does pretty good with mashing up his food, I just make sure it is in small pieces. (well, duh LOL)
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New Day. Weather is supposed to finally start to cool down the end of the week. Temps have been well above September averages and I think most of us are ready to see a change. And some rain!!!
Had a documents server here late Friday afternoon with child support court papers for Blondy. The state filed when she applied for food assistance and there have been three previous dates set where one of the parents just didn’t show up. Welp, she don’t live here no more, but I bet we can have her here manana. Sister went after her Saturday, and she stayed 37 minutes. Just long enough to get the guy here, sign for her papers, and have sister take her back to her living place. Interacted with boy-child for MAYBE 10 minutes. Broke my heart to watch him. I’d make a very large wager that she thinks if the DNA proves out the father and he has to pay support, that SHE will get to take that money to do with whatever she wants. Unh-uh. Someone reminded me to keep a journal of all this in case I go for custody. I am old, cranky, creaky, and tired. I don’t know if I can keep up with him well. I know I would eventually resent not having time for my own activities. Yet, no way on this planet can I let him be neglected and endangered as I believe he would be with his mother. If I have custody, I will be taking the support. Let her come argue with me about it--oooo, I want her to...(grim expression here)
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New Day. Sister is giving Blondy money again…sigh. Supposed to be for a phone this time. SAYS that if Blondy spends the money on something else she won’t give her any more. Left a note for Blondy saying that. I am prittt-teee sure Blondy won’t believe her. I don’t…sigh. Sister seemed receptive to talk, so I brought up the question of getting custody. Me getting it, not her. She gets so defensive, I guess thinking she is supposed to carry all these kids until they drop off from old age. Not really wanting to, she has already raised two generations—sort of; but something in her screams that she HAS to do it. Beating her over the head hasn’t worked, time to try a different tactic.
Okay, tactic failed. Didn’t help my plan that boy-child’s father (we think he is, anyway) texted sister to make SURE Blondy is in court on the 1st. Says he showed up twice and she didn’t. Surprise! She took transportation money from sister, didn’t show, and didn’t give it back. grrrrrr Father-we-think is eager to get the DNA testing completed. If his kid, he—finally—wants to be involved in boy-child’s life. Tried to talk to sister about logistics and me going with boy-child to court, etc., while Blondy finds her own transportation. She drew up so fast the curtains blew around. She doesn’t want to take care of child herself; she has already SAID that Blondy isn’t cut out to be a mother; she already KNOWS that Blondy doesn’t show any interest in spending time with her son; she already KNOWs that Blondy is a heavy drinker, is taking cocaine, and hangs around with druggies; she already KNOWS how damaged kids get when they don’t have a stable home environment; she already KNOWS it is going to come down to either me or the dad getting custody. But despite all of that I am ‘pushing Blondy away.’ Huh? What does that mean? Can see it is going to be more uphill with her than it will be with Blondy! I know she is afraid of losing boy-child, as am I. Surprising to me how big of a hole it would make in my life if he were gone. Live and learn, eh? But, what we want or how we feel is not primary. Making the best life for the CHILD is the most important thing and I will be doing my damndest to make sure he gets it!
You know your dogs have you well trained when you start cracking a hard-boiled egg shell on the counter and they all come running. BIG GRIN
It feels so good to have most of the bills caught up. Sent a little money to the dear friend who has given me so much financial help over the last 18 months. Not as much as I want, but it is a start and I feel really good about getting it going. Next month, going to get Shorty a laptop. Senior year requires a lot of computer work and I ain’t giving up my desktop! Made a deal with her and she held up her end, so now I have to hold up mine—as badly as I want to take that money and go off to Choctaw! (um, casinos iz fun…rofl)
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New Day. Blondy came by at 5:00pm yesterday to pick up money. So, are you taking kid for the night? Well, I can if you want me to. No, you said Saturday you were taking him Tuesday or Wednesday and it is Wednesday, so are you taking him? Well, if you don’t feel good, I can. NO, there is no ‘I can’, either you are taking him or you are not. She took him, but only because I think she felt forced into it. I want to grab a fistful of hair and slam her forehead-first into a carport support pole. arggggggggg. And sister doesn’t want anyone to disturb the status quo? Boy-child deserves better than this limbo.
Bought him a bean bag dog. Is that sucker ever BIG. And picks up every bit of lint and dog hair in a two foot range. :-/ But boy-child was excited about it, likes to play on it, AND…drum roll, please, recognized it as a dog!! Was a fill-it-yourself and we put the whole bag of beans in it. Too much, had no squishy give to it. Took about ¼ back out and it is almost perfect now. Ordered a dolphin form for girl-child because it was ridiculously inexpensive compared to the stuffed dog, and it will wait to be stuffed for a few months until girl-child starts walking. To have both of these humungous things on the floor would severely restrict the amount of walking room we have and my balance is precarious as it is. Falling down might not hurt as much landing on these things, but it still wouldn’t be a hot fudge sundae.
Ah, I am drifting away on a fragrant cloud of soap. For Christmas year before last, my dear friend sent a jar of Crabtree & Evelyn Citron Honey & Coriander Creamy Cleanser. Talk about aromatherapy! Meant to get other products in the line and didn’t get around to it, then there wasn’t money. About all that is available for sale now is lotion and I don’t want that. Checked eBay and found small travel sizes (hotel provisions) of soap, shampoo, and conditioner at reasonable prices. Bought almost all I found. LOL Will make it all last as long as possible. Good thing my hair is short these days--easier to stretch the shampoo. (snicker)
It’s baaaaaaaaack. After almost exactly two months away, Blondy decides to return to the house. Oh, uccckkkkyyyy. Well, I don’t suppose she really wants to, but her enablers gave up their apartment and each moved in with relatives. Okay, ya have to be a big, grown-up girl. You made the deal, she gets two move-backs and it keeps your sister happy. Suck it up, then. :-p She does have additional conditions. No leaving the house in the middle of the night—she is either here all night or is gone all night, boy-child’s sleep and eating schedules stay the same, she buys ALL her own food. Condiments, flour, cooking oil, the works. So the second night she is here, she goes to her friend KK’s and is gone all night, comes back around 12:00noon. Third night she is here, she wants to go out again, but changes her mind for some reason. Earlier today (fourth day back), she comes to me and says she is leaving for her friend Lori’s around 2:00. Doesn’t ask me squat, just says she’s going. Um, so you are taking the boy? Uhhhh…no. Welp, I keep him from 10:00pm to 6:00am, and that is only because his crib is in my room. Otherwise, you are here and he is all yours. She stomps off. I fall asleep with boy-child this evening. Wake up around 9:00pm when the dogs sound off at sister’s return from errands. Blondy gets pissy when she finds out that sister and I have lunch plans for tomorrow, leaving at 11:00. THAT’S when I discover Blondy still plans to go to her friend’s because “you said it was okay as long as it was after 10:00”. Well just when did you think you could come waltzing back in here tomorrow, you skanky little drunken slut?!? (pant, pant, pant…okay, relax from feral crouch and uncurl hands from claw position). Nice creative reinterpretation, there. GRRRRRR.
Think I made it clear this time. Did it calmly and rationally, with no drama or finger-pointing. (Even sister said so—oooh, I was proud of me!) Had this boy for two months straight 24/7 and happy to do it. But if you are here, then he is your child and your responsibility every waking minute of the day. Maybe if I continually reinforce the “you don’t git to party all the time and live HERE, little girl” message she will move out again. Pleeeeeeeese! I think I would even pay her a little pocket money if she left again.
Social Security has reversed the disability decision and I will start receiving benefits in September. Will be BigBigBIG load off me and sister. With the possibility of actually having a dollar or two for mulch and soil, I am becoming excited about the yard again. Been tough to find enthusiasm for much the last few weeks.
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New day. Well. How did we know this. Blondy told sister she was going to the friend’s, but would be back last night. Yeah, right. Nearly 2:00pm and she still isn’t here. I am thinking she might not come in until at least tomorrow just so she can feel she is proving a point. News for her. And sister is backing me up. Told sister I would give her $50 a month to give to Blondy for condoms and such if she left. Can we say “bribery” girls and boys? Sister is gone for afternoon so if slutty one does come in in the meantime, I get to ‘handle’ her.
Moved a Victorian Gift daylily (unregistered) to where it will get more sun and put a June hosta from a container in its place. Watered a little. Nice to see new foliage coming up after July and August’s drought. The unexpected August rain started regrowth a little early. Plus, I suspended my benign neglect policy and have been hand watering. Not enough to keep everything lush, but enough to keep much from dying out that would have been lost otherwise.
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New day. Well. Well, well. And, well. Haven’t seen or heard from Blondy since she took off for her friend’s two nights back. Sister tells me this morning that Blondy posted on her Facebook page she starts waitressing in a gentleman’s club tonight. I will sincerely say good for her, it is honest work and it’s a job. Then add, frankly, that is about the only kind of place she could get a job given her lack of intelligence, experience, and education; extraordinarily promiscuous behavior; and extreme laziness. But I am not prejudiced, or anything like that…
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Several next New days. So I got to tell Blondy she doesn’t live here any more! Yea!!!!
AND I didn’t even have to come across with any money! She was gone for three days straight with no word of any kind. Nope, you don’t get to do that. And I find out on top of her drinking she is now taking cocaine. Could tell there was some kind of drug, just didn’t know what…sigh…jail or dead before she is 25…
So I am thinking of what needs to be done should I have to get custody of boy-child. Already have forms printed out for her and sister to go get notarized for medical power of attorney and death/disability guardianship. But I am thinking I might need to protect him from his mama. She surely doesn’t want him burdening her lifestyle, I just have concerns she will try to use him as a lever with us, or sell him to finance her drug habit. Wouldn’t be the first time for either in this family (my youngest sister comes immediately to mind). There would be nothing I could do in time to stop her taking him if I don’t move on it. He is going to be ‘messed up’ because of her absence, but, aren’t we all screwed up in some form or fashion? All I can do is minimize it as much as possible and teach him how to adapt.
Weird how people change over the years. When we were young women, my sister was always the baby-making, gotta have kids around, patience of Job with babies kind of person. I was always the W.C. Fields type. Welllll, maybe not quite that bad, but close if the proximity lasted any length of time. Now, she is the one who is impatient and wants to steer clear and I am the one with the patience—at least with boy-child. Girl-child is another story. I want her returned for a refund.
I have been so blessed with help from people here. Life is hopeful again and these kind, generous souls have certainly been the currents supporting my rise in spirits. Going to bed with thoughts of green, growing things again instead of drowning in dank, dark pond scum. I be happy, happy.
Skipped last couple of days. MS kicking my butt. All I can do to keep up with boy-child, haven’t even been outside to walk around and look at whatever may be newly blooming. His paternal great-aunt is coming after him tonight.
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New day. Aunt didn’t come get him. They were off north and wouldn’t get back in this area until 9 or 10PM. One of the things I most dislike about this person (and there are many) is the flaky “everyone dances to my time tune” and the lack of communication. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Howsomeever…Blondy came by. Sister brought her. First time in one month she has come to visit her child. Seeing how Blondy spent half her time outside smoking, and made very little effort to interact with the boy, I think she pretty much came just to do her laundry. She sure didn’t like the fact that, when she first came in the door, boy-child wouldn’t go to her and shrank back against me when she talked to him. He didn’t fuss when they left, either, just waved bye-bye (evil snicker). Found out later that Blondy is planning to move to the coast in a couple of months with this fellow she met at a club, went home with from there, and has known about three weeks…sigh…well, if the relationship lasts, sister is going to try to talk her into leaving the baby here until she gets settled and finds out if there will be enough money to support them both, etc. Praying sister is successful.
Had some garden stuff on craigslist and someone bought it yesterday. Yea, milk/bread/eggs/butter!!! Part of the ‘enticement’ if you will, was the buyer could pick almost any daylily in the yard and I would dig it right then and there. She picked Vatican City. Fine by me. I liked it, but wasn’t eager to see it every year. Mary Lightfine and Mary’s Baby should cover if I start to miss it. So, that meant there was room to move one of the remaining NOIDs from the back to the front. Picked the tallest thinking, if it did so well with NO attention, none-zip-zilch-ZERO, what might it do with some occasional water? Also dug up Witch’s Laugh, which was in a bad location for it. Came apart by itself into five small fans, so I planted it in four different locations. Am eager for this one. Loved the only bloom ever seen on it. Next year…
Watered, especially the cucumber and tomatoes. Happy to see a teeny, tiny cherry tomato. The three it produced last month were really good. :-D Saw two teeny, tiny cucumbers, too. No idea how long it takes to mature. I reallllllly like cucumbers and tomatoes. Patience, must…have…patience…
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New day. So boy-child gone for the night, and girl-child’s daddy came after her to keep until Sunday. Was I ever looking forward to an uninterrupted night’s sleep…ah…silence…grnt-snort…what is that noise? Okay, Mickey-mutt is whining to go out. She rarely ever does that. Get up, let her out, wait for her to finish, leaning on door frame with eyes closed trying not to fall asleep on my feet. Okay, back to bed to sleep until at least 6:00…ahhhh…silence…sleeeepp...snorgle-cough…what? Not again...sigh...Okay, Mickey, up we get…sighhhhhhh…
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Several New days later. Sister is moved in. Yea! Blondy seemed receptive to leaving boy-child here until she figures out if new relationship is going to work out. Whew…and…we’ll see if she actually does. :-p
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Several more New days later. Shortie’s BF was here again this past week. He still snores…
Took the massive sleigh bed apart and put on Craigslist, together with the two nightstands. Since it was one of those former boss' "You WILL have this whether you want it or not" (and I didn't) purchases he pushed on me, felt no compunction about offering it for sale. Particularly not when the electric will be shut off next week if we can't come up with the payment. Amazing how much bigger the room feels. :-p Set mattress and box springs on floor. Had an interior door in the garage from when temporary repairs were made after the break-in couple of years back. Set that on it’s side for a sort of headboard. Now I can lay down and still watch boy-child, he can practice getting on and off the bed; when he falls, it won’t hurt him that badly while he learns how. Moved crib in here, too. The original plan way back was to leave it in the room where Blondy was and Sister is now. Sister is the only one with a job and she needs to get real rest. Boy wakes up at least once, and sometimes three times, during the night. Won’t get any rest that way!
Have had a marvelous and unexpected break in temperatures the last 10 days or so. And some rain!!! Just six or seven more weeks to go and I can get back outside on a regular basis. Yippee!
Boy-child spent the night at his paternal great aunt’s house, so, when sister left for work, went out to finish up what couldn’t get done last night for the heat. Moved three daylily seedlings, Magic of Oz, and Sun Silk. Put out all the remaining mulch. (The poor tree peony seems to be suffering in its new location [sad face], so layered it well.) Watered. Looks like we might have some cucumbers if I keep the water flowing. Yippers! Three of the Velvet Queen sunflowers are every bit of 7 feet high. Wowsers. The first flower open is still yellow, hoping it will deepen to that lovely caramel-red. Still don’t know where the two maroon and cream lilies came from, but I like them. :-)
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Two next new days. Heat not so bad today, going to try pulling some tree seedlings. The ATP tip on using pliers was great!
Blondy was supposed to come by to see Buddha Boy Friday. Did she? Three guesses and the first two don’t count…sad sigh…
Letting boy-child go to other great aunt's was a mistake. Too soon after Mom left and he doesn't know that side well at all. Separation anxiety has been a problem since he got back that is just easing today. He will be staying here for quite awhile before I let him be taken off again.
Shortie went to girlfriend’s last night, and was supposed to be home last night. Sister is picking up Shortie and boyfriend today to help move furniture to storage unit. Shows up at 7:00 this morning with boyfriend in tow and they are both asleep on the couch. He snores—loudly. :-/
Using heavy square-legged metal dining chairs as child gates works really well…as long as one is able to avoid repeated sudden and forceful contact of one’s shins and knees with said square metal legs. Which one has be unable to do to this point—today’s count is 14 bruises in various stages of color on forearms, knees, shins, and top of left foot.
Sister picked up Shortie and BF around 9:30 (they were still asleep, of course). So they go move the stuff, come back here by 11:00, were back asleep by Noon and have been sleeping/eating/sleeping ever since (it is 5:19PM now), and, of course, leaving the television on. He is still snoring—loudly. GRRRRRRRRR
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New day. Have a metal Red Green Live PBS campfire cup that simply wouldn’t sell when I was listing ever’thin in the cabinets. Good thing, I am thinking, because this boy child thinks it is the neatest toy since the dog’s tail!
Shortie is shoving her daughter off on the child’s father for the weekend again because she wants to go to a concert and a 4th of July cookout. Yet, she can’t see that her behavior is no different from her sister’s when it comes to the children. Might be even worse. I give Blondy credit—if she couldn’t find a babysitter, boy-child went with her or she didn’t go; and she didn’t complain about it, either. Which is far from what Shortie does when she can’t find a sitter. Plus, Shortie is all woe and deprivation because she can’t get ‘her’ ice cream and other goodies. Well, if she hadn’t lost her WIC card—again—so we had to use the SNAP card to get three cans of expensive formula for girl-child there would have been enough money for those things until SNAP refills. Don’t think she is getting the fact that the babies ALWAYS have to come first, and that she NEEDS to keep better care of her documents.
Blondy went to sister’s yesterday to get money to pay someone’s gas so she could go to court today for a child support determination. Sister laid into her for not showing up here last week or coming around at any other time to see her child. I don’t know which is better for BuddhaBoy—for Mom to come see him just briefly and leave again, or to stay away altogether until she is ready to take him full time. Just don’t know…
Received email from sister’s interview company asking reference questions. Hope I supported her well enough without giving so much information they back off! LOL
Moved about 15 struggling daylilies from the backyard to the front. Only six had labels Think I know what two others are, the rest will be surprises. :-D Mosquito bite on my forehead almost exactly where Hindus place a bindi. Since bindis are thought to retain energy, strengthen concentration, plus protect against demons or bad luck, maybe the mosquito was doing me a favor?
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New day. Buddha Boy not feeling well, he even turned away from mashed potatoes and grape ice pops—two of his favorites. So I just watered a little outside today. Spent much of the morning holding him in my lap while we watched Sesame Street song videos and this afternoon being a romper room toy for him.
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New day. Fourth of July. Almost Independence Day for Sister—she was offered a job with full-time hours, full benefits, and almost the same pay. She turns in her resignation tomorrow, and she let ME type it!!! YEA! Irony: She will be turning in her notice on what would have been my 10th anniversary with the company. She is the only one left with enough in-depth experience to do their shipping for them. It isn’t a job that can be done by just anyone off the street and her departure is going to cripple an already failing company. HA! Let your 21-year-old daughter fire me, whose only administrative management experience is what I taught her? AND let her use an accusation of embezzlement as termination grounds when you know very well it isn’t true—because the money went into YOUR pocket? Let her run MY sister off by deliberately harassing her near daily? rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I call it just deserts and I love it. Nah, nah, nah, nah, NAH, nah!
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Really missing my Russell this evening...
Gave my very first baby bath this morning in the kitchen sink. Ashamed to say I was lazy overnight and did not change boy-child at 3:00am when making his bottle. Received my just punishment, though, at 8:36am this morning when I went to get him up and found he had removed the diaper himself and left, um, solid residue alllll over the crib, the bedding, and, of course, himself. So he realllly needed that bath. ROFL
Sister coming this afternoon to take me to library and store. She is FINALLY getting to sign the official divorce papers today and we are all happy to have that part of it over. Only took two dadgum years, but it is done. Protective order still runs for a few more months, I think.
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New day. Shortie chasing BuddhaBoy in circles around the house and Mickey-dog was chasing Shortie chasing boy-child. Funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile. :-D Teaching him squnchie-face, blowing kisses, peek-a-boo, and action/reaction. Introduced him to being read to from books.
No one has heard from Blondy for a week. Sister said her DIL received a text some days back saying she was headed to Tyler and was supposed to be back today. Nothing I can do to reassure Sister except call the local hospitals and jails (which I did and found nothing).
Skipped library yesterday. Weary from the night before and just didn’t feel up to more than groceries. Pulled The Crystal Cave to reread for the 32nd thousandth time. I learned more about writing and effectively using the English language from reading Mary Stewart’s books than in the entire time I spent in classrooms.
Everyone is supposed to be gone for a few hours tomorrow afternoon. Sister’s gentleman friend is cooking out for an official first ‘new family’ gathering and wants all of her kids there. I will do my usual happy hermit routine and remain here enjoying the bliss of silence. And maybe a nap.
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New day. Baby-boy is using a small remote control as a telephone. awwwww.
Between plumbing problems, dogs, and babies, have had a surfeit of pee. :-/
Well, just thought I’d be all alone today. No cookout. But girl-child’s father picked her up last night and Shortie immediately was picked up by a friend, back tomorrow night. So me and Buddha Boy are going to watch Red on network television. Wanted to see it since it came out. Sister said Blondy called her last night. Said she’d been at a ‘retreat’ and wasn’t with her friends…uh-huh, and we are supposed to swallow THAT one whole?
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New day. Boy-child has discovered the dog beds make real good play stations. He likes to go sit in them and play with his dump truck.
Saw Red last night, but didn’t get to concentrate because this boy decided he wanted to stay up…sigh…and I WANTED him away from his mama? ROFL
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New day. Thought I had the mug press sold and sister was excited about having some help with the electric/water bill that will be shut off on July 2 if not paid. Then the $&#^ backed out. GRRRRRRR. Reworked the listing to combine the press and the printer. See if get any interest. Also listed a group of cookbooks from 1972, and a group of stools/stepping stones/baskets and such. Giving a daylily bonus if someone buys the latter. See if THAT works. :-D
Boy child is clever. When I am sitting at my computer and he wants to be picked up, I push the chair back, turn the chair to him to get my knees clear, then pick him up. Little stink now comes over, pulls on my leg to turn, THEN holds his hands up for me to get him. awwwwwww…
Made chocolate chip cookies for the first time in many weeks. Shortie had new boyfriend over to ‘hang out.’ Seems to be a nice young man. Questioning the age difference—he is 28 and she is 17, but, after being around him, I can see that their maturity levels are about the same and they have such fun together I am waiting to see how it turns out (rather than condemning it automatically like rigid, know-it-all aunties tend to do :-p).
Have some daylilies and other plants that need to be moved. It is going to be really hot the next few days, but Buddha Boy’s great aunt from his paternal grandpa’s side wants to take him overnight. Sister thought it would be okay and not too disruptive for him, so I may get up early as usual and go dig before the sun really gets over the yardarm…um, fence.
Sister called an ‘ugly house’ buyer. Should hear something today. If she gets $5K clear, she will be happy. And so will I.
