Oh no, I see oodles of joy! This particular trip just takes me backward amidst the present.
A friend of mine in her late 70's and I had a conversation. I asked about some mutual friends from the city I moved from 25 years ago. They were older than I and younger than she, both dead. I asked her how she dealt with losing friends - which we all do, the older we get - she said to make new friends.
I am joyful every day. Just a plate of beautiful food makes me smile with wealth. Even when I had muscle relaxers for my shoulder surgery that caused me to piddle all the way to the potty, I laughed. Perhaps if I were never going to heal, I would be sad. For now, I feel sadness for the world and specific rotten events, but never to be dwelled on throughout the present. I have been gifted with happy brain chemistry. The only thing I can do is today.