Sure is nice to be able to get back on line again...when I'm not too tired. A little "hospice humor" to start with. Richard has lots of tats...wanted to know Bill's full name and DOB. Asked if it would be OK if he added a RIP tat to his back...Bill was very touched. Yesterday "Mr. Potty" was added to the mix...Richard told Bill he wanted to be the first to pee in it! I swear...can't leave those two alone for 5 minutes...no telling what they'll come up with. I allowed as how no prob as long as I did NOT have to empty it. LOL What can I say...gotta laugh when/where I can.
Got up early Thursday as Bill wanted a bath before I went to town. OK fine...until he deceided he didn't feel like it. But boy howdy did he ever have the "honey dos" GRRRR. Felt like a full day by the time I left the house!! Just for something to do, my friend Jackie went with me. We always have a good time filled with lots of laughter. Turns out she knows the guy who came out to fix my computer...goes to her daughter's church. Got Bill's meds and two b-day cards that I needed and on to Wally World. OMG...they had a fire drill that lasted a good 15 minutes...lights flashing and messages to exit the store over the loud speakers. We could not wait to pay for the dog food and gummie savers I got and get the heck "out of dodge". Talk about being stressed!!! Dropped Jackie off and headed home to give Bill a breathing treatment...only an hour and a half late. The nebulizer, AKA Nessie, (as in Loch Ness Monster because it scares Bear so much) now lives in the bedroom. Got his meds on board and settled in to wait on Sue to come. Extra visit because of the med changes. She was feeling rough because of the flu and thay had added to her case load. Sent her off with a Life Saver plant in a pretty pot with ladybugs on it...couldn't find one with butterflies. Said she would be back Friday for the regular visit.
Bill had a decent night, considering. He told Richard not to come over as we had people and deliveries schedualed...plus he needs time to catch up on his own stuff. When Sue was here on Thurs. she ordered a bedside commode. It was delivered and once again I sent the man from medical supply off with cuttings for his Mom. Guess I'll be known as "The Plant Lady in Fountain" LOL So now we have R2D2, 3CPO, Nessie and Mr. Potty...the bed and shower chair are nameless...any suggestions?? LOL Moved stuff around in the bedroom to make room for Mr. Potty (Bill is not real happy about him...oh well, it is what it is) did Nessie (poor Bear...surprised he hasn't broken every bone in his body and gone bald from shaking so much) meds on board and waiting on Sue. She said she'd be here around 4, so since Bill was napping I waited in the screen room. She arrived, we chatted and went to check Bill. The central line was taken care of and vitals taken...BP very low as usual...his normal at this stage of the journey?? Told Sue he was FINALLY approved for medicade...letter in Friday's mail. Sue said that her DD had laid claim to the Life Saver plant...no prob...gave her one for HERSELF complete with a "pot fairy". Time for her to leave and we headed out to the screen room. We enjoyed the birds for a bit and she said she needed to talk to me. She is very concerened with how quickly Bill is going downhill and has him set up for visits Mon, Wed, and Fri. instead of just Friday..Now instead of perhaps Thanksgiving or there abouts, she said she would be surprised if he is here for Halloween. BUMMER But I guess better to go quicker rather then linger longer and suffer more. Not sure I'm ready yet, but the signs are there. I can see them and I have no experience in these matters. BIG SIGH
And here we are on Saturday. Bill actually ate very well last night...half a cheeseburger and half a piece of apple pie. After the 8pm meds I went to bed totally whipped, but setting the alarm for 10:30 to do Nessie. After that I put his sleeping pill where he could get to it when he was ready to turn off the TV and went back to bed. Woke up around 3:30 expecting him to need meds...NADA. I got up at 7 and he was still asleep...checked at 7:45 and Bill woke up. Got him coffee and am meds. Guess the tought of Mr. Potty scared the crap out of him and he went to sit on "the thrown" in the bathroom....and he went!!! YEA... first time in days. A good sign or just wishful hopeing?? Been an odd day...asked for O2 twice. Wanted an anxiety pill just now...early, but I suppose he is anxious since Richard has left and I'm on the computer. This so sucks!!! On a happy note... I called his favorite nurse from the hosp in Chipley and we all chatted for over half an hour. Good medicine for Bill. She and Sue would get along great I think...both ex military and into horse rescue. I hope she can visit before the end...said she would try and at the least call from time to time. Gonna leave R2D2 run for at least 45 mins and Nessie is due at 4:30...meds at 5. I prey Bill will eat a little something again and please have a restful night. Need to get laundry off the line and out of the dryer and then for me some much needed RandR watching the birds with a cold one.
Goodness what a week! Hard to believe it is only Wednesday. Bill has been on the O2 more...not so much durning the day, but definately at night. A humidifier has been added to "R2D2" which has helped and 3CPO remains in the closet safely away from the dogs...sure don't need them knocking that over. Bill has woken up in the middle of the night several times in a panic...short of breath, hacking and weezing. Really scared him the other night to the point that I called hospice. Sue has been out with the flu, so Dixie came yesterday to check on things. After looking over the pain log I've been keeping, she got on the phone to the doc. His meds have been changed around...some put on hold for now and replaced with others and some increased. A nebulizer was also added to the mix with treatments 3 times a day as possible without waking him in the middle of the night. All this offically started today...hopefully he will be more comfortable and less stressed out....more work for me, but it is what it is. Found out yesterday that he can't donate his body to MedCure because of "partying" so to speak, in his youth. BUMMER...we both really felt good about them. Now we/I need to figure out another way to go. FSU or U of F perhaps. OH...forgot to mention that over the weekend (???) we drilled a hole through the wall between the bedroom and livingroom so R2D2 can "live" in the bedroom where Bill can access the O2 at night. Poor Bear freaked out today when Bill had his first neb. treatment...thought he would shake himself to pieces, poor baby!!! With luck this too shall pass and he'll get used to it. LOL always something. Trip to town tomorrow for BP meds for Bill that hospice doesn't cover. Richard will be here to "Bill sit" thank goodness and get the dogs out if Sue or Dixie arrive to check on the changes before I get home. Sorry to ramble around so much, but it's hard to remember what all has happened when these last few days. Big hugs for you all and again, thanks for being on this journey with us.
Hi ya'll....as of right now I guess I'm back on line, but totally stressed. Both a good and bad day today. Need to come up with something to eat for us both and check on threads watched. Hopefully I will be back tomorrow with updates, but right now Bill told me to PLAY...cheese and crackers are looking good...off to read posts. I have really missed you all....my sanity in this maze of caregiving. ((((HUGS))))
It has been a rough few days...have not tried to get online since Sunday. Monday morning at 5:30 Bill got up to pee...I was on the toilet, so he had to "water the bushes on the patio". It took a lot out of him and laid him low. It was all he could do to get back to bed. He was totally short of breath and retching. Yelled for me...gave him meds, but a half hour later he asked for oxigen for the first time. It was a SEVERE episode and scared the crap out of him. Waited a bit...gave an anxity pill and called hospice. His nurse called to say she was almost at the office...did she need to come?? By now the meds and O2 had kicked in so Bill was doing better and we deceided that a visit could wait till later. It was a rollar coaster all day. Bill was NOT ready to be tethered to O2 all the time and fought being relagated to the hosp. bed. That night he slept there with the O2 going. He slept fairly well...I tried, but one ear was always listening for him. Tuesday morning I had an appointment with the vascular surgeon. Richard came early to sit with Bill. Explained the O2 etc. and off I went. While filling out paperwork, I lost it....happens when it happens with no forewarning. The doc gives GREAT hugs...big careing bear hugs. and said I have good legs...blush...wants to see me back in 3 months...put me on asperin routine and said I needed to walk every day...will try, but there are always "honey dos" to deal with. I want to be outside doing stuff...not stuck inside. Oh well all in good time. Today my neighbor came to help with this beast...was here about all day. Bill wanted Mexican for dinner, so I invited her to stay and join us. Bill ate ALL of his food...not a whole lot, about half a burrito, but he ate it all. YEA!!!! And so as I type I have a smile on my face. Got dishes to do and meds to give and hopefully the beast won't eat this post. Hopefully the beast will play nice from now on...we shall see...still a work in progress. Luv ya'll and should bad things happen, I will have someone post an update for me....otherwise, I'm just busy and tired but holding ya'll in my heart and plodding along as best I can.
Hard to believe it's been a month already! All too quickly the time goes by...or so it seems. Bill has been going through "stuff"...this pile is for Richard, this for my son Alex, etc, etc. But when it comes to paperwork and last wishes, he balks. I certainly understand and empithise BUT it NEEDS to be done while he is able to make these choices for himself. Bless his heart...I hate to push too hard, but I know it needs to be done. He is donating his body through MedCure and since both Alex and Richard want some ashes they will be sent to me after cremation. They will come in a heart shaped urn..."Handcrafted Mulberry Paper Urn made from the regenerating bark of the Mulberry tree and a heart card embedded with wildflower seeds-if planted, they will grow." How cool is that??? Gave me the warm fuzzies when I read it. He still is not much interested in eating, so yesterday when he asked for ham roll ups I went to the store to get the stuff to make them...sliced boiled ham, cream cheese, horseradish and dijon mustard. Made them...he ate a few bites and I froze the rest. Defrosted a few today and we enjoyed. Hopefully he will eat a little something again tonight. He did pretty well on leftover cheesey brocolli chicken casserolle that Brenda had made for us with a small piece of cinnamon roll for dessert. Bill is so tired and frail...hate to see him like this. Oh well...it is what it is. I go Tuesday to see the vascular surgeon...just talk really as by-pass on my leg is NOT gonna happen at this point...but at least I'll know more about the process and healing time involved. I'm very happy that it is not a MUST do right now. Richard just left, so guess I'll go sit with Bill. Hopefully rest for us both tonight...feel like a newborn is in the house...listening for every cough sneeze and wheeze through the night.
